It's Contest Time! Time to win something!
Let's see who can generate the most likes for the Tri Peaks Consulting
page. Starting now until Friday, 2/22/13, get as many of your friends
to like this page as you can. Next Friday send me a screen shot of the
Tri Peaks Consulting page which shows how many of your friends like the
page and whoever has the most friends liking it will get a E-Gift
Certificate from Amazon.com. Pretty simple!
Ready, set, go!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Coaching Versus Counseling
I started working with my latest client yesterday. We had
scheduled the initial 30 minute consultation a week ago which
gave them time to write me a detailed summary of the changes and
goals that they are wanting to pursue in life.
Yesterday's meeting, while only 30 minutes, was a very productive one. The client initially explained for the first half about what changes need to be made and in what specific areas of life. After that a matrix of the available options was created and then decisions were made by the client as to what actions to take in order to pursue those avenues.
We scheduled our next session and within an hour I had an email from them outlining the goals and steps to be accomplished between now and the next session. The client has tasks to complete and when we meet again progress will be measured with the goals and plans being adjusted as needed to continue moving forward.
I love life coaching because it is fun for me and I appreciate the simplicity of the solution based approach. As a coach I have a lot more leeway and freedom to be supportive and definitely a lot more than in the traditional therapeutic relationship.
If I were to work with this person in a more structured "counseling" sense we would have never accomplished everything that we achieved yesterday in such a short amount of time. First there is intake, and given the clients overall situation, a multi-axial DSM diagnosis applied and then if we were lucky and still had time, actually start talking about treatment options and working through the underlying issues. Of course this type of deep analysis is needed in a lot of cases but not all the time.
Not every psychological problem is the result of deep-seated, intrapsychic conflict or dysfunction. Clients’ emotional struggles are often the result of not practicing basic coping strategies and skills. Some people never learn how to contend with stressful situations. Their problems are not the result of pathology, but of a lack of understanding of essential life skills. (Gazda, 1984). (Parrott, 2003, p. 13)
With high-functioning coaching clients the goal is to get from A to B. Forward focus, not rear-view. That is why I like coaching versus "therapy" and that is what is exciting and fun about working to build Tri Peaks.
Parrott, Les. (2003). Counseling and Psychotherapy. Pacific Grove:
Brooks Cole Publishing Company
Yesterday's meeting, while only 30 minutes, was a very productive one. The client initially explained for the first half about what changes need to be made and in what specific areas of life. After that a matrix of the available options was created and then decisions were made by the client as to what actions to take in order to pursue those avenues.
We scheduled our next session and within an hour I had an email from them outlining the goals and steps to be accomplished between now and the next session. The client has tasks to complete and when we meet again progress will be measured with the goals and plans being adjusted as needed to continue moving forward.
I love life coaching because it is fun for me and I appreciate the simplicity of the solution based approach. As a coach I have a lot more leeway and freedom to be supportive and definitely a lot more than in the traditional therapeutic relationship.
If I were to work with this person in a more structured "counseling" sense we would have never accomplished everything that we achieved yesterday in such a short amount of time. First there is intake, and given the clients overall situation, a multi-axial DSM diagnosis applied and then if we were lucky and still had time, actually start talking about treatment options and working through the underlying issues. Of course this type of deep analysis is needed in a lot of cases but not all the time.
Not every psychological problem is the result of deep-seated, intrapsychic conflict or dysfunction. Clients’ emotional struggles are often the result of not practicing basic coping strategies and skills. Some people never learn how to contend with stressful situations. Their problems are not the result of pathology, but of a lack of understanding of essential life skills. (Gazda, 1984). (Parrott, 2003, p. 13)
With high-functioning coaching clients the goal is to get from A to B. Forward focus, not rear-view. That is why I like coaching versus "therapy" and that is what is exciting and fun about working to build Tri Peaks.
Parrott, Les. (2003). Counseling and Psychotherapy. Pacific Grove:
Brooks Cole Publishing Company
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
We Need A Diet Revolution Not Diet Resolutions
January is almost behind us and we are nearly into the second month of 2013. Many people gained weight during the holidays which is common for the American population and just as common, come January first, everyone swears to lose all of that weight and then some. It is nearly the end of January.... so how's that diet working out for you?
Here is the truth, diets do not work. Especially ones that you pay for, and even more so for the ones that have you buy their products. I applaud anyone making any efforts towards self-improvement by any means available. I am just leery of the driving principles behind some methods, products and programs.
For the sake of my example, let's look at a great and successful program like AA. Now, I am going to morph AA into something a little more inline with what we see in most weight loss programs in this country today. Imagine if AA were not modeled they way they were? What if they were Alcoholic Watchers and not Alcoholics Anonymous? Sure people would still go to meetings and talk about how much they didn't' drink that week, (or how much they did) then everyone would buy the AW approved "hooch" to take home for the week... Everybody would still be drinking.... and guaranteed still being effected by it.
AA works because it's focus is not on the person being or getting drunk... no. AA works because the focus is on preventing that person from taking that first drink and helping that person to avoid alcohol and the addictive cycle altogether. So why don't commercial diet programs work the same way? Diet programs focus on weight loss and being skinny but they never focus on avoidance of the substances driving that addiction which causes weight issues. Diet programs do not focus on prevention.
The focus is erroneously placed on the end result...body fat and obesity. And the measure of success is getting rid of just that. Do people lose weight? Most often. Do they gain it back? Most often. Why?
Because just like an alcoholic who only wants to drink like a normal person, a person dieting only wishes to eat like a normal person... or to be more accurate, eat like they believe a normal person eats and still maintains or loses weight without much effort. Diet programs, especially the ones that hock their own products for replacement snacks, etc. constantly try to tell you that you can in fact have "their" cake, and eat it too.
And trust me, they want you to buy and eat their cakes and cookies, chips and drink mixes.... You see, diet companies do not make money if you lose weight. Not really. Diet companies make money selling you their program and keeping you in their program. Diet companies make money and stay afloat by supplying just enough of the addictive substances for the addict to keep them hooked while allowing them to lose weight and believe they are making progress. It's a scam.
All of that aside, the reason that diets fail is that they require compromise... if you don't eat too much of x... you can still have some of y - sometimes. But you see... the model is flawed. The problem is not the extra weight to be lost, no, that is only the symptom... the problem is not that you eat too much of x foods... assuming x, is made up of basic fruit, veggies, meat, etc. The problem is with y... y is all of the sugar, HFCS, fried, fatty, carbohydrate loaded processed food that we WANT to eat. And the biggest reason that we want to eat it? It was MADE THAT WAY!
A lot of people in weight programs talk about how nobody ever craves a carrot, or broccoli, but damned if they will do anything for candy bar or french fries! Are the candy bars and fries better for you? More healthy? No. They are engineered to taste better; they are engineered to be craved; they are engineered to turn you into an addict; finally, they are engineered to take your money and give it to someone else. Weight gain? That's really just a side effect of it all. What you buy to eat and what you choose to eat - that is where the real issue resides.
Compromise is the biggest reason that diets tend to fail. Diet companies want you to compromise and that never works in any relationship or agreement. Compromise means that one side or the other had to take a loss in order for progress and as humans we do not do well with that. The best option is to think collaboration. We need to form a collaborative relationship with food. I guarantee if one were to step away from processed foods and focus on eating more wholesome and fresh alternatives, the desire for the former would be replaced by the latter. And your body will be happier for it.
If a diet program is selling you the notion that you can lose weight by following their program and buying their books and their replacement meals and other food products... trust me, the only thing they are wanting to make lighter is your pocketbook or wallet. In the end you may very well lose weight but is it the cause or the symptom that is being treated?
Here is the truth, diets do not work. Especially ones that you pay for, and even more so for the ones that have you buy their products. I applaud anyone making any efforts towards self-improvement by any means available. I am just leery of the driving principles behind some methods, products and programs.
For the sake of my example, let's look at a great and successful program like AA. Now, I am going to morph AA into something a little more inline with what we see in most weight loss programs in this country today. Imagine if AA were not modeled they way they were? What if they were Alcoholic Watchers and not Alcoholics Anonymous? Sure people would still go to meetings and talk about how much they didn't' drink that week, (or how much they did) then everyone would buy the AW approved "hooch" to take home for the week... Everybody would still be drinking.... and guaranteed still being effected by it.
AA works because it's focus is not on the person being or getting drunk... no. AA works because the focus is on preventing that person from taking that first drink and helping that person to avoid alcohol and the addictive cycle altogether. So why don't commercial diet programs work the same way? Diet programs focus on weight loss and being skinny but they never focus on avoidance of the substances driving that addiction which causes weight issues. Diet programs do not focus on prevention.
The focus is erroneously placed on the end result...body fat and obesity. And the measure of success is getting rid of just that. Do people lose weight? Most often. Do they gain it back? Most often. Why?
Because just like an alcoholic who only wants to drink like a normal person, a person dieting only wishes to eat like a normal person... or to be more accurate, eat like they believe a normal person eats and still maintains or loses weight without much effort. Diet programs, especially the ones that hock their own products for replacement snacks, etc. constantly try to tell you that you can in fact have "their" cake, and eat it too.
And trust me, they want you to buy and eat their cakes and cookies, chips and drink mixes.... You see, diet companies do not make money if you lose weight. Not really. Diet companies make money selling you their program and keeping you in their program. Diet companies make money and stay afloat by supplying just enough of the addictive substances for the addict to keep them hooked while allowing them to lose weight and believe they are making progress. It's a scam.
All of that aside, the reason that diets fail is that they require compromise... if you don't eat too much of x... you can still have some of y - sometimes. But you see... the model is flawed. The problem is not the extra weight to be lost, no, that is only the symptom... the problem is not that you eat too much of x foods... assuming x, is made up of basic fruit, veggies, meat, etc. The problem is with y... y is all of the sugar, HFCS, fried, fatty, carbohydrate loaded processed food that we WANT to eat. And the biggest reason that we want to eat it? It was MADE THAT WAY!
A lot of people in weight programs talk about how nobody ever craves a carrot, or broccoli, but damned if they will do anything for candy bar or french fries! Are the candy bars and fries better for you? More healthy? No. They are engineered to taste better; they are engineered to be craved; they are engineered to turn you into an addict; finally, they are engineered to take your money and give it to someone else. Weight gain? That's really just a side effect of it all. What you buy to eat and what you choose to eat - that is where the real issue resides.
Compromise is the biggest reason that diets tend to fail. Diet companies want you to compromise and that never works in any relationship or agreement. Compromise means that one side or the other had to take a loss in order for progress and as humans we do not do well with that. The best option is to think collaboration. We need to form a collaborative relationship with food. I guarantee if one were to step away from processed foods and focus on eating more wholesome and fresh alternatives, the desire for the former would be replaced by the latter. And your body will be happier for it.
If a diet program is selling you the notion that you can lose weight by following their program and buying their books and their replacement meals and other food products... trust me, the only thing they are wanting to make lighter is your pocketbook or wallet. In the end you may very well lose weight but is it the cause or the symptom that is being treated?
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Alignment
One of the things that I work with clients on is alignment within their lives. Are they actually striving to achieve the results that they desire in life on a consistent basis or are they short stroking their efforts with half-hearted attempts, and worse, self sabotage? These are the kinds of barriers that have to be removed in order to achieve goals and create a life of quality.
It impossible to receive
wealth, health or happiness unless we consciously put ourselves into the proper
situation and place that would be of benefit.
Your thoughts, feelings and actions must be in alignment; and all at the
same time.
It would be nearly impossible
to have the thought of wanting to lose weight and create a healthier lifestyle
if you are not feeling motivated to really do so or if you are still going to
the fast-food drive through everyday.
The thought, the feeling and the action do not match up so more than
likely positive results will not materialize.
Of course the overall
perception of life plays a key as well in the business of attraction. Once I had the vision that we act like a
funneling point between the un-manifested and the manifested things in our
physical world. How I envisioned it was
that everything is sort of just floating out there but also flowing in a stream
and as we change our perception, our point of view, our focal point, our
position in the stream or channel point changes also. All these things that are un-manifested we
either catch and it filters through us or it passes us by.
One way to look at this is
like a magnifying glass catching a ray of light. It must be angled and focused so to create a
real discernable point of light. Another
example would be a fishing net.
Depending where on the spectrum (or stream) the net is placed dictates what will be caught
in it. In other words all of this stuff
is floating around us, we just need to position ourselves correctly in the
stream to catch it. To get the better or
bigger things we must be in the right spectrum of light or the right part of
the stream. While one part of a stream
might catch only one kind of fish, being in another might catch more or bigger
fish which are more edible. So the
reason I say perception, is that is what acts like the lens or the net which
allows us to catch, filter, or seize the things we want or do not want, all
depending on where we choose to focus.
What are the tools to get us
to those different places in the stream?
First one must have courage. The
courage to let go of what is holding us back in life… the courage to let go and
to allow new experiences, people and things to freely entire (and possibly leave)
our lives; The courage to take risks, to
go for it and the courage to have faith in oneself.
One must be willing to change
habits and behaviors that may be holding you back. If your dream is to see your grandchildren
grow up, it might be a good idea to stop smoking, or drinking, or indulging in an
unhealthy diet. If your goal is to have
the relationship of your dreams, maybe a change in dating patterns and an approach
to dating is warranted. If you want to
win the lotto... then start the buying tickets.
As thoughts and feelings and
actions change a persons life situation more than likely it is not going to be a 180 degree change over night. Changes are often
difficult and take time to fully affect results in one’s life. It is the actual day to day accumulation of
positive action, thoughts and feelings that are the stepping to stones to
building an amazing life.
By consciously working
diligently to put oneself in alignment of their dreams, goals and ambitions on
a daily basis it is much simpler build a life that is truly abundant and
happy. And happiness is the overall key
to it all, every time, without fail.
 |
| The desert which can seem barren but once you know where to look you will see that it actually teeming with life. Perception. |
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Fortune Cookie
Not too long ago I had Chinese food for lunch. The fortune from the
fortune cookie that day read, "This is a good time to consider formally
helping others." I kept that fortune like all of them except this one I
kept on my nightstand where I could see it everyday.
I don' t know if that was part of the shift pushing me into the direction of starting my own life coaching business or if it is just time but now I feel charged and excited to begin work in this field.
There were many reasons that I decided to pursue a masters degree in counseling and work in that field. Boredom and lack of interest in my past career field, the accumulation of my past personal experiences and studies, and a true desire to help people reach their greatest potential were reasons for my studies in that direction.
I have a genuine interest in getting to know other people and I am inquisitive by nature. I like learning about other people, where they have been, what they have done, and where they want to go. For thousands of years people have been helping other people, elders or healers, priests, chiefs, medicine men, and the like have been providing comfort, support, advice, and sometimes just a nonjudgmental ear. The direction I wish to go in now is to combine what I have learned and experienced in my personal past with future formal training to be in a position to exploit my knowledge and interpersonal skills to help others.
I want to do more than just help people with their problems and listen. Time alone can be a great healer and that healing can be accelerated with some assistance.
After many years of working in the computer and IT industry, I am electing to take a different path in life. This journey into the helping profession has been something that I have thought about and considered for many years. Life circumstances and changes over the past two years have enabled me to begin this exciting stage in my life. I will not be satisfied with merely helping people “just” overcome their problems. I want to help people to take their crisis, whatever it may be, and not just have it be an episode in life to adjust to or heal from, but to use it as a launching pad into the rest of theirs lives and a better life. I want to help people see their situations not as ends or problems, but as beginnings and opportunities to take on with enthusiasm and excitement.
Just like the fortune said.... it is a good time...
I don' t know if that was part of the shift pushing me into the direction of starting my own life coaching business or if it is just time but now I feel charged and excited to begin work in this field.
There were many reasons that I decided to pursue a masters degree in counseling and work in that field. Boredom and lack of interest in my past career field, the accumulation of my past personal experiences and studies, and a true desire to help people reach their greatest potential were reasons for my studies in that direction.
I have a genuine interest in getting to know other people and I am inquisitive by nature. I like learning about other people, where they have been, what they have done, and where they want to go. For thousands of years people have been helping other people, elders or healers, priests, chiefs, medicine men, and the like have been providing comfort, support, advice, and sometimes just a nonjudgmental ear. The direction I wish to go in now is to combine what I have learned and experienced in my personal past with future formal training to be in a position to exploit my knowledge and interpersonal skills to help others.
I want to do more than just help people with their problems and listen. Time alone can be a great healer and that healing can be accelerated with some assistance.
After many years of working in the computer and IT industry, I am electing to take a different path in life. This journey into the helping profession has been something that I have thought about and considered for many years. Life circumstances and changes over the past two years have enabled me to begin this exciting stage in my life. I will not be satisfied with merely helping people “just” overcome their problems. I want to help people to take their crisis, whatever it may be, and not just have it be an episode in life to adjust to or heal from, but to use it as a launching pad into the rest of theirs lives and a better life. I want to help people see their situations not as ends or problems, but as beginnings and opportunities to take on with enthusiasm and excitement.
Just like the fortune said.... it is a good time...
Monday, January 14, 2013
Hello and Welcome!
Welcome to the blog space for Tri Peaks Consulting. Today is January 14 and I plan to have this company with all of it's social media footprint up and standing no later than Wednesday, January the 16th. This is a very exciting time and I am so looking forward to getting to meet and work with with everyone and helping them to achieve their fullest potential in life.
Like I said... Exciting!!!!
Like I said... Exciting!!!!
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